Happy Birthday to me!

I just wanted to remind myself that my life is important! I'm an important person! As a reminder of what the last few years of hell have been like, I'm just going to publish my unfinished drafts that I made on the computer. Heaven knows that I have hundreds of pieces of paper floating around that are my daily thoughts though. I'll never understand how a man can hate me for 25 years, marry me, and plot a revenge to tear my family apart. I've done nothing but study the behaviors of a narcissist for 2 solid years! There's no changing a person with that mental state. We have met every goal that we set this last year. When you have gone through an abusive relationship, as horrific as the one we were in, you just want the nightmares to stop! Materialistic things that have a negative impact on your recovery need to be replaced. Yesterday, the 3rd vehicle was replaced. Although we have one more vehicle to go, that's not bad at all! So here I am, still alive, wondering how the hell did I let myself fall into that trap? It's been a hard year. Very hard! My family and I continue to grow, replace things, and set goals. The one thing I'm stuck with, is loving someone with my heart and soul, that I can never see again in my lifetime. It is truly the most painful feeling that anyone can imagine! Happy Birthday to me!