Every kiss can be abuse

No matter how hard I try, I can't unlove him! I can't forget him! I can forgive him, but I can only remember each kiss covered his revenge against me and my family.

When vehicles break down, I want to call my ex but I can't. I call my friend "Walker" and he helps us though. I look into "Walker's" eyes and they are gorgeous! He's a born and raised San Diego surfer who planted himself in the desert. Lucky us!

His occupation is in high demand and he works about 60-75 hours a week. In the sun no less! I swear each time I see him he his 10 shades darker than the last time I saw him.

My ex, and his continuous encouragement, helped me fall in love with motorcycles. I miss those moments when we could just enjoy each other's company. Yet, it was all in his master plan to destroy my family.

"Walker" has a motorcycle as well. He knows what I've been through over the last 2 years so he tries to avoid things that trigger my PTSD. He's managed to be patient and understanding. With trying to be cautious, he's creating new memories. My adult children don't ever have to worry about any type of abuse. My grandson's adore the time spent with him as well.

My grandson's have gone from extreme emotional and verbal abuse, to free open range of feelings. They never have to be in fear of their belongings being locked up, the thermostat being remove from the wall, abusive screaming in the middle of the night, being locked out of rooms, etc.

"Walker" actuator showed up at my house one night at 9pm to make me a homemade cheesecake! He taught my grandson, Donovan, every step of the way! They had so much fun in the kitchen. 2 hours later, he gave me a hug goodbye, and off he went. Damn good cheesecake too!

"Walker" also spends time with Jessie. Jessie is two and a half years old. They manage to make each other laugh enough for all of us.

My ex only cared about controlling everyone and everything. You couldn't breathe when he was around. The only peace and love we felt was when he was in jail. The fear was gone for 24 hours! You could be human. You could cry. You could talk. You could think.

My ex was still pissed from 25 years ago yet, I fell for him all over again. I will always fall for him. I made sure the divorce decree had the no contact order in it. He said he never wanted to see or talk to me again. You always give the one you love what they want.

I can only think about how he constantly screamed about wanting a divorce, yet did everything he could to stop the first divorce. We could have made history in this love story.

Now my friends, and family, are helping me forget history. I can't break free though. He is the love of my life. I keep his smashed wedding ring by my bed to remind me that he spent 19 years plotting my death. Smashing his ring over his cheese missing in the fridge!!! "His" cheese mind you.

My other friends have stepped
up in helping me regain my self-esteem. Everyone is aware of everything my family encountered by my ex. It would have made a great Netflix horror series. Some have even offered to write it!!!

When I miss him, I just get onto my court efile account and read the crap he did with his attorneys. And he lost! Not only did he lose in court, he lost the greatest love he will ever know. He lost the brightest future he could only dream about.

I hope someone else kisses his lips. My abuse by him is over.