Love Me Not

I know that the titles of my blog seem a little off. They are more about the abuse then recovering. But at least with all of these horrific events that I am sharing you will see that some people will do anything and everything they can do to torture you and your family. So in part 3 I guess I'm going to analyze a single man with two dogs. Now that I am outside of the box and can look in with a clear mind, what a f---ing disaster of a human being.

Part of being in an abusive relationship also has to do with money. I found that there's many different aspects of how an abuser approaches the money situation. Once you find the pattern it's easier to control your end. There are some abusers out there that will literally control when and where you can work. There's also the type of abusers who will demand your paychecks. Fortunately for me I was not in that type of abuse. My daughters and myself were in a different Financial predicament. If the abuser touch something, worked on something, at parts for vehicles, food, or anything else for that matter, he owned it. It was his at any given moment. And those moments are very random. I'm not sure what starts this type of controlling abuse but it definitely did not work with us. Here's a few examples... I had some medical issues that were upcoming and needed to make my co-pays. So from our joint tax return that was deposited into his account, stupid right, I transferr...

I have found that everyday is just as hard as the previous day. There never seems to be any down time for the brain after you've been in an abusive relationship. And I do want to let everybody know who reads this that there is always hope for tomorrow. Although I question this constantly, somehow I managed to see every tomorrow. I never imagined that I would be spending the latter part of my life questioning everything I have thought for the last 25 years. Specifically March of 2016 until today. Part of my problem is I love to drive. There's something about hitting the open road and just looking at everything around me, getting a breath of fresh air, not being in any type of dwelling, but mostly trying to look at things that don't remind me so much of the past of abuse. But then again, even the open road brings back memories that haunt me and makes me question every single detail from April of 2016 to April 2017. I do know that it takes a really sick person to plot any typ...